New stuffs =]

ok there are a few new things happening in my life that I haven't kept you up to date on.

1.

I've decided to become a beautiful muscular fitness model! jk. but I am working out everyday at the gym and taking some minor supplements. not in any way shape or form getting huge muscles though. haha Going to the gym has been a new experience for me. i never went to the gym back home cause i would just work out from home or go running around the neighborhood. Lately me and two friends have been going everyday! Well... almost everyday. We take the occasional day off. It has been such a cool thing for me though! If i were going by myself to the gym I wouldn't have lasted more than a week. its just easier to workout from home. but thanks to the girls I'm going with we are able to keep each other accountable. and we share the same goals!!!

2.

We got a freakin hedgehog! hes about 4 months old and is such a nuisance! I still love him though. He's pretty adorable. We are trying to litter train him right now which is super hard. hes stubborn. I've been peed and pooped on a few times... and he likes to bite sometimes. He is getting better though. haha and we finally got him to swim in his bath!! hes a good little swimmer =] Oh! and his name is Sonic of course!

3.

We are broke. buying Sonic really took a lot. He was in a terrible environment though so we HAD to get him. lol soooo we are surviving on Ramen and taco bell. SOOOO UNHEALTHY! i hate it. but we cant afford anything else until we get paid. On the bright side we have spent a lot of time at home being a couple... playing video games. ha!

4.

I'm buying a new camera and MIGHT start putting videos on youtube about military life in japan. lol might be super boring. not sure. we'll see =p


and thats it! You're up to date. Now i gotta go get ready to go to the gym!!!!! woo!!!!

old cries for help resurface

Last night i was laying awake in bed for hours. I was thinking of my past in high school and everything i went through. it was such a horrible time. and i ended up actually writing a poem. i haven't written anything in a couple years so this really helped me a lot.

I lie awake in my bed
Remembering all the past and what you had said

When the tears and blood dripped to the ground
I searched for you but you were never around

To feel the rush, the energy, the high
They think it's cool but I still run and hide

They show me the scars while i hide my pain
After years of this they have no shame

I lied and cheated, I was addicted to the rush
The rush they chase simply out of lust

We sacrificed everything for a nonsense game
They know who I am but not my name

These roads are filled with blood and sorrow
I said I'd look for hope "starting tomorrow"

I lied and cheated, I was addicted to the rush
But still all i needed was a little push.

What day is it again??

Joey started a new shift at work this week. he works Wednesday and Thursday nights 11pm-7am and Friday-Sunday nights midnight to noon. I have a hard time sleeping alone so unfortunately i haven't gotten much sleep. I got to bed around 7 am and get up at noon to try to get ready and catch the bus to go run errands. I cant drive yet cause we haven't been able to go pick up my new license so it is just really frustrating. We also don't know exactly when to eat. It is just sooooo annoying. they didn't give joey a break either. he switched over to the night shift in one day. It's not good. hes having to rely on energy drinks to keep him awake and it makes me so sad to see.

On the bright side! ... I'm able to actually have time to clean the house more at night which is good. and I'm able to do online shopping for things in the home.

but it still sucks. and i don't like not knowing what day it is. ugh.